Celebrating My Story

What a waste of time this is, I’m thinking to myself as I sit waiting in my doctors office.  He asked them to bring me in his office.  Why, I was thinking?  I’m sure he’s going to tell me I’m very constipated after my MRI yesterday.  Couldn’t they have called me to tell me this?  As I sat there I thought about all the things I should be doing.  After all, I had been away on a business trip for 4 days and I had so much to do back at my office. Little did I know, my world as I knew it, was about to come crashing down.

 

My doctor came in, asked me how I was and then proceeded to speak these words “You have a mass on your kidney”  “What?????” Can you repeat that….slowly again?” The first words out of my mouth.  “What do you mean, mass?” I said.  He said “It’s a large tumor on your right kidney”  I don’t understand, I feel fine.  He went on to explain to me, that hopefully we caught it early, but there are no symptoms until it metastasizes usually.  I was so dumb founded, I didn’t know what to say.  I had no questions, I seemed to be in a state of limbo.  He went on to tell me he was going to get me into one of the top Urologists in the area as soon as possible, because time was of the essence.  He told me one of his nurses would call me tomorrow with an appt. with that Urologist, and he hoped it would be in the next week or so.

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When I left, I just sat in the car in a state, I can’t really explain.  I didn’t cry (yet).  I just thought about what this would mean to my world.  Of course, the first thing I thought of was a seminar I had been booked at in 3 weeks, and would I be able to be there?  Would the Director be upset that she may have to find someone else at the last minute?  I better wait until I talk to the urologist before I make any calls.  Oh my, I will have to tell my husband and children…they will be upset.  I’m not going to tell our 6 year old son, he might be too scared.  Especially since his grandpa (my father in law) just died from this same disease 10 months prior... 

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