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My Story - Celebrating 22 years of life!

As we approach the week of July 29th, 2024, I reflect on the 22 years since my kidney cancer diagnosis. I am deeply grateful for these years and the incredible lessons that have shaped my ongoing thriving life. I want to share my journey with you, hoping it inspires you to uncover and learn from your own buried beliefs. May you celebrate your life fully, without the shadow of a life-threatening illness, and embrace the power to

Believe Better.

My doctor walked in, asked how I was, then dropped a bombshell: "You have a mass on your kidney."

“What? Can you repeat that slowly?” I stammered. “What do you mean, mass?”

“It’s a large tumor on your right kidney,” he clarified. I was stunned. I felt fine. He explained that we might have caught it early, but there are usually no symptoms until it metastasizes. I was in shock, unable to process the news. He assured me he would refer me to a top urologist immediately because time was critical. His nurse would call with an appointment soon, hopefully within the week.

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Leaving the office, I sat in my car in a daze. I didn't cry; I was too numb. My thoughts drifted to a seminar I was scheduled to present in three weeks. Would I still be able to go? Should I inform the Director that she might need a last-minute replacement?  Telling my husband and children loomed large in my mind. I especially didn't want to scare our six-year-old son, given that his grandfather had died from the same disease just ten months ago.

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I needed to go some place and wrap my head around this, so I drove to my parents’ house. My father was home, and as soon as I saw him, I blurted out, “I have kidney cancer.” Saying it out loud made it devastatingly real, and I broke down. We sat at the kitchen table, our go-to spot for serious conversations. Through my sobs, I could barely answer his questions. He offered tea, but I shook my head. I needed to cry. I reminded him of my father-in-law’s recent death from this same illness. “I can’t die,” I wept. “I have young children.”

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My poor Dad; he didn't know what to do for me. In his Irish brogue, he kept saying, “It’ll be alright, Trisha.” But I was not convinced.

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After crying for a while, I knew I had to go home and face my family. When I arrived home, I found my children were already back from school, but I waited for my husband. When he arrived, I asked him and my daughter to join me upstairs. I led them into the guest room, closed the door and told them the diagnosis. My daughter cried, and my husband held his head in his hands. I reassured them that this would be different from Bob’s dad and asked them not to tell our son.

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The two-week wait to see the urologist felt interminable. Every day, I thought about the tumor inside me, yet I felt nothing. When the day finally came, my husband and I were shown the MRI image. The tumor was enormous, about the size of a football. My husband was incredulous, “This is inside you, and you don’t feel it?”

My surgery was scheduled for the following week. The plan was to remove the right kidney, biopsy it, and check nearby tissues and lymph nodes for cancer cells. This would determine the next steps.

During my recovery, from the removal of the diseased kidney, waiting felt eternal. I decided to distract myself by reading a book a friend gave me, "You Can Heal Your Life" by Louise Hay.  As I read through the index, I saw the list of different areas of the body and what negative energy/belief is held in each area that can cause illness or disease. A lightning bolt of realization struck me as I read about the Kidney: it held Anger, Fear, Shame. I knew immediately this was true.  I had stored anger, fear and shame from growing up in a volatile, alcoholic household. I realized how these festering emotions had contributed to my kidney cancer. Additionally, I also felt guilt over the inheritance we received after my father-in-law's death and my eagerness to build a new house with that money. The diagnosis came just two weeks after moving into our new home. I realized how I had to punish myself by taking on the same disease! I was overwhelmed!  I could not grasp the enormity of this all.  I immediately broke down, when I realized how I had contributed to my own disease.

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When the call from the doctor came days later, I was told the biopsy found the cancer was encapsulated within my right kidney, which had shut down when the tumor started growing.  The left kidney took over double duty.  This was amazing! This was a miracle! The right kidney's shutdown had prevented cancer cells from traveling throughout my body, therefore, no further treatment was needed.

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This was not just a wake-up call, I felt, this was a miracle! The universe was giving me an opportunity to re do my life! I thought, if I could contribute to creating disease in my body by my self loathing beliefs, what could I do, If I learned to love myself!  I had to know everything about how we create these beliefs.

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​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ As I rebuilt my strength by walking everyday, I listened to every mind/body connection audio I could find, and when not walking, read any book I could find on the subject. I immersed myself in learning about the mind-body connection. What I discovered is that our beliefs shape everything in our lives; including our health.  I realized these negative beliefs, formed in childhood, were false.

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After my surgery, I had checkups every six months, then annually. I was told to continue yearly checkups for life, as dormant cancer cells could potentially reappear.

 

As Thanksgiving approached, my family and I decided to host Thanksgiving as we felt grateful beyond words.

 

Then as Christmas approached, I realized, this could have been my last Christmas, but instead, it was the first of my new life. My family and I shared an unspoken bond of joy and appreciation that Christmas.  One of my most memorable with my children.

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The Next Chapter

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From 2002, when I was diagnosed, until 2017, I transformed my life through intense learning and self-discovery. By 2017, 15 years post-diagnosis, my doctor shocked me on my annual check up. He said: "I feel comfortable using the word CURE"  My mouth fell open. He explained that after 15 years they knew more about the disease and felt without recurrence, this was as close to a cure as possible.

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Elated, I knew the healing process had embarked on had worked!  This, to me, was confirmation healing the negative beliefs about who I thought I was, my value (un-value) in the world had saved my life.  I knew I had to share my process with others.

 

 In 2017, I published "Daydreams Come True: Self-Coaching Workbook," guiding readers through the healing process I used. This workbook helps uncover the authentic self, identify inborn gifts, and heal childhood wounds that create false, automatic behaviors in adulthood.

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I am confident cancer will never return. I have a new belief system, free of anger, self-hate, and low self-esteem. My mission as an author, empowerment coach, certified health and wellness coach, and retreat leader is to help you and others discover your true selves and live the lives you've always dreamed of, without having to navigate a life threatening disease.  Everyone has the opportunity to "re-do" your life.  Is it time for you to Believe Better?

Daydreams come true self help coaching work book.
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Selflove Book

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