MINDING: What If You Could Catch Yourself Before You React?
A Simple Practice for Everyday Stress
Have you ever reacted to something and, five minutes later, wondered, Why did I get so upset about that? and get upset with yourself?
Maybe someone made an innocent comment that rubbed you the wrong way. Someone didn't return your call. Or your plans changed unexpectedly, and suddenly your entire mood went south.
Before you knew it, you were irritated, frustrated, or mentally preparing a response worthy of a courtroom drama!
Sound familiar?
Here's something fascinating: Your body may have been warning you that you were about to react before you consciously recognized what was happening.
And learning to recognize those signals could change how you experience everyday stress.
Your Body Has an Alarm System
When your brain perceives a threat, it activates your body's stress response, commonly called fight or flight.
And it happens fast!
Adrenaline helps your heart beat faster, your breathing quicken, and your muscles prepare for action. Cortisol helps sustain the stress response. Meanwhile, heightened stress interferes with the prefrontal cortex, the part of your brain involved in thoughtful decisions and problem-solving.
That's why thinking clearly can become so difficult when you're really upset.
Your brain is thinking it needs to prepare you to survive, not help you compose the perfect response to an irritating email!
Fortunately, we have this alarm system in place that helps save our lives when the danger is real and not perceived.
But what happens when the alarm keeps going off over situations that aren't physically dangerous?
Think about the smoke alarm in your kitchen. When there's a fire, you certainly want it to sound! But imagine if it went off every time you made toast. Or opened the oven. Or lit a birthday candle. You'd spend half your life trying to silence an alarm when there wasn't actually a fire!
Our unconscious beliefs can influence our stress responses in much the same way.
If we carry an old belief that we're not good enough, criticism may feel threatening. If we fear rejection, an unanswered text might trigger anxiety. And suddenly, our bodies are reacting. A knot in the stomach. Tight shoulders. A racing heart. That familiar feeling of tension rising.
The situation may not be dangerous, but our nervous system is responding to the threat our brain perceives it to be.
And those physical sensations can become valuable signals that it's time to pay attention.
Introducing MINDING: Mindfulness for Everyday Life
Mindfulness has become quite the buzzword, hasn't it?
Unfortunately, many people still think it means sitting cross-legged, surrounded by candles, trying desperately to empty their minds.
And if you've ever tried not thinking about something, you know how well that usually works!
But mindfulness doesn't require meditation, silence, or a perfectly peaceful environment.
It's simply the practice of becoming aware of what's happening in the present moment without immediately judging it.
I've created a practice called MINDING to make mindfulness easier to understand and use in everyday situations.
Instead of waiting until you're overwhelmed to manage your emotions, MINDING helps you recognize the early signals that an automatic reaction may be developing.
And it takes just three steps.
1. PAUSE: Notice
Pay attention to what happens in your body when something upsets you.
Is your stomach tightening? Are your shoulders creeping toward your ears? Do you feel heat rising in your face? Don't try to fix anything. Just notice.
2. BREATHE : Settle
Take a few slow, but Deep comfortable breaths, by breathing into your absomen, and allowing your exhale to be slightly longer than your inhale.
This will help calm your body's stress response and give you a moment to collect yourself.
You're not ignoring what's happening. You're simply allowing yourself to respond from a calmer place.
3. CHOOSE: Get Curious
Now ask yourself:
What am I making this mean? Why is this upsetting me?
Could an old belief be influencing how I'm interpreting this situation?
Perhaps someone disagrees with you, and your automatic interpretation is:
They don't respect me.
But is that necessarily true?
Or is it possible they simply see things differently?
MINDING gives you an opportunity to question the meaning you've attached to an experience before allowing that meaning to determine your response.
What If You Don't Catch Yourself in Time?
Here's where I want to save you some unnecessary frustration.
When you first practice MINDING, you probably won't catch yourself before reacting.
You might get upset, say something you regret, or spend 20 minutes mentally arguing with someone who isn't even in the room.
And only afterward will you think, Oh! I should have been MINDING!
That's perfectly normal when you begin this practice.
Recognizing your reaction afterward is still progress.
At first, you may notice the pattern an hour later. Eventually, you might recognize it five minutes later. Then perhaps you'll catch yourself in the middle of reacting.
With practice, you may begin noticing the physical signals before your automatic reaction takes over.
This is one way we can use the brain's ability to change through experience and repetition, known as neuroplasticity.
You're developing a new habit of awareness.
And the more you practice, the more familiar that habit can become.
Why This Matters to Mindology
This is exactly why I created Mindology-Where Mind Meets Physiology.
Because what we believe doesn't stay in our minds.
Our beliefs influence how we interpret experiences. Those interpretations affect our emotions, our physical responses, and ultimately how we behave.
Through my D.A.R.E. Your Beliefs Method, I help people discover the unconscious beliefs that may be influencing those reactions.
MINDING gives us a practical way to begin recognizing them as they happen.
I've experienced this transformation personally.
Situations that once would have triggered frustration, anxiety, or defensiveness no longer produce the same reactions. Why? and How did I get here?
Because I've learned to recognize and question the meanings I once automatically, without even realizing, attached to those experiences.
And when something genuinely upsetting happens, I can usually recognize the physical signals, calm myself, and approach the situation with greater clarity. But, that takes practice....getting here didn't happen overnight.
The goal isn't to stop having emotions. It's to stop allowing old beliefs, and the meanings attached to those old beliefs about who we think we are, to turn everyday experiences into unnecessary emergencies.
A Little MINDING Experiment
MINDING is one of the new practices I'm introducing in my upcoming book, D.A.R.E. Your Beliefs, scheduled for release in January 2027.
The book builds on my earlier self-coaching work and nine additional years of learning about unconscious beliefs, stress, and the mind-body connection.
But here's something you can begin practicing today.
The next time something irritates, frustrates, or upsets you, take a moment to notice what's happening in your body.
Pause. Breathe. Choose.
And if you don't remember until afterward, that's okay, too.
Just get curious about what happened.
What were you feeling?
What did you believe the situation meant?
And was that interpretation necessarily true?
Triggers aren't about what's happened, they are about what we have repeatedly believed the triggers meant about us.
So here's my question for you:
How much of your stress comes from what's actually happening in your life, and how much comes from the meaning you've been giving it?
If you would like to explore utilizing MINDING in your life, schedule your FREE 30 minute Session, and start really being in control of how you want to live your life.
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