Mindset Monday: When Self-Care Is Actually Self-Sabotage- How I Healed My Beliefs Around Food, Comfort, and Worthiness
- Trish Heitz
- Jul 20, 2025
- 3 min read
"I Deserve This"
This morning, I caught myself reflecting on a phrase I used to lean on during some of my most emotionally challenging times:“I deserve this.”
Back then, that simple phrase justified the extra bagel, the late-night ice cream, or that second glass of wine, all under the comforting banner of “self-care.”But in truth, it wasn’t care. It was emotional self-soothing masquerading as wellness.
Comfort vs. Self-Care: A Painful Pattern Hiding in Plain Sight
What I now see so clearly, and what I couldn’t see before I started doing the deep belief work, is that I wasn’t nourishing myself at all. I was trying to comfort emotional wounds I didn’t yet know how to name.The belief driving those behaviors?
“No one else is going to take care of me, so I’ll do it myself with things that feel good because "I deserve to feel good"
But that wasn’t self-love.That was emotional self-sabotage born from unhealed beliefs like:
I’m not good enough.
No one really cares anyway.
I have to do it all alone.
When “Self-Care” Becomes a gateway to Sabotage
I thought I was treating myself. After all, I was studying wellness. I was reading about self-care routines and how important it was to “give yourself what you need.”But I didn’t realize that my version of care was still being filtered through a lens of self-judgment, perfectionism, and emotional residue from old survival patterns.
Before my belief transformation journey, I was incredibly self-disciplined, and also deeply self-punishing.I would starve myself to meet an image. I’d push past my own needs to chase approval.Then when I finally gave myself “permission,” it wasn’t liberation, it was self sabotage disguised as indulgence.
This Is What a Self-Sabotage Cycle Looks Like
Let me break it down — because if you’re still reading, you might recognize it too:
You set a goal (lose weight, feel better, be more consistent).
You “treat” yourself when stressed or sad: “I deserve this.”
That treat conflicts with your goal and leads to guilt.
Guilt activates the inner critic "Whats wrong with me?" “Why can’t I stay on track?”
The critic fuels shame and self-judgment, which drives the next sabotage moment.
I wasn’t failing because I lacked willpower.I was operating from old beliefs about worthiness, value, and who I believed I was, that were running the show behind the scenes.
What Changed? I Healed My Beliefs.
Today, I realized something had shifted; not through force, not through restriction, but through healing.I chose whole grain toast instead of a bagel.I chose low-fat yogurt and fruit instead of ice cream. And I didn’t feel deprived. I felt... proud. Clear. Whole.It felt like a natural choice; actually one I didn't even plan, control or think about.
This wasn’t about discipline.It was about desire.
I didn’t change because I had to.I changed because I wanted to. because it felt like a natural choice, and that’s how I knew something was different.That’s how I knew the emotional healing had taken root.
True Self-Care Starts With a new Belief cleaning out or reset.
If you’re stuck in cycles of:
Emotional eating
Self-sabotaging habits
Toxic perfectionism
“Self-care” that leads to guilt
Burnout from trying to be good enough
…it’s not your fault.You’re not bad, and there is not something wrong with you. You are just looking through evrything with the lens of old beliefs formed in survivial mode without your conscious awareness. .You’re just running on a belief system that never belonged to the authentic magnificent you.
The ultimate act of self-love is to see yourself, not through the lens of old wounds/beliefs or social pressure, but through the truth of your authentic gifts, talents and strengths, without judgment.
So… How Do You Begin?
You start by doing what I did:
Discover the belief beneath the behavior
Assess where that belief came from
Recreate a new belief that reflects your truth
Expand that belief into your daily life
Its a methodology I created over 20 years of study and healing that I call a Belief Reset with my D.A.R.E. Your Beliefs Method. It’s the most powerful wellness tool that I've seen amazing results from not just on myself but in the countless numbers of people who have utilized this method over the years through my book and workshops.
If any of this feels true for you, or if only some if it feels true, and if you feel ready
(You have to be ready) to:
Heal your relationship with yourself and self-care breakk emotional eating cycles, Start living from a belief system that supports you and your desires/goals,
Book a FREE consultation below and get more information on how to Believe Better.
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