When I Stopped Apologizing for Rest

The Ending of Feeling Guilty About Taking Time for Me

There was a season in my life when rest made me feel guilty.

If I wasn’t checking something off my list, I felt like I was falling behind. If I took time to do nothing, I could hear that old voice whispering, You’re being lazy. But here’s what I didn’t understand: that voice wasn’t mine. It was inherited. I was raised in a family that told me "You have to work as hard as you can to get ahead." My Dad worked 2 jobs. It was all about hard work. That culture taught me the link my worth is directly tied to how much I accomplished. So I ran myself ragged to prove I was good enough. Until the day I was diagnosed with Kidney Cancer, then everything changed. As I healed both emotionally and physically, I finally allowed myself to sit down to rest without having an agenda, and I finally didn’t feel the guilt. I stopped hearing that guilt inducing voice. The voice I now hear is..."This feels good".

I learned it wasn't about earning the rest; it was because I deserved it. We are not machines, we are Human BEINGS; we are allowed to just BE. We are living beings who need space to breathe, time to recalibrate, and rest both our minds and bodies. This is what makes us truly effective and able to be the best of ourselves.

If you’ve been pushing yourself to the point of exhaustion just to feel like you matter, or worse, prove yourself, please hear this: You don’t have to prove your worth. You are already worthy. You just have to remember it. By taking the rest time your mind and body so needs, you actually have more to contribute, but now not because you HAVE to, it is because you are more energized, and you WANT to. A big difference. If you struggle with this, please allow yourself to Believe better and Live softer. I’m here when you're ready.