The Power of Accepting What Is
- Trish Heitz
- 4 minutes ago
- 4 min read
There is a quiet strength I didn’t understand for most of my life.
Acceptance.
Not resignation. Not weakness. Not “this is all I deserve.”
But the powerful, regulating choice to stop fighting reality.
For years, I believed that if something wasn’t the way I wanted it to be, someone’s behavior, a work situation, a relationship dynamic, then I needed to fix it, push it, manage it, mentally wrestle with it, and feel the weight of "why me?"
What I didn’t realize then was this: Resistance doesn’t change reality.
When we argue with “what is,” our nervous system interprets it as a threat. The body tightens. The heart rate rises. The mind begins spinning scenarios. We move into fight, flight, or rumination. We suffer not only because of what is happening, but because of our internal war with it.
And most of the time, the war is rooted in expectation.
We expect people to behave a certain way. We expect opportunities to unfold a certain way. We expect outcomes to match the image we have in our mind.
But here is the deeper layer I’ve come to understand through my own transformation:
Our expectations are often shaped by our beliefs about ourselves...rooted in what we think we need for survival.
If I subconsciously believe I must earn love, I will be triggered when I don't receive that validation I need, or I will resist situations that don’t feel validating enough. If I believe I am overlooked, I will be triggered when I realize the slight without understanding of the facts, or I would resist outcomes that don’t instantly affirm me. If I believe life is unfair, I will look for proof that it is unfair and my brain will look for situations that prove to me that life is unfair. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
And then I will suffer; not because of what is happening, but because what is happening doesn’t match the internal story I’m carrying.
Acceptance changes that.
Acceptance is not saying, “I like this.” It is saying, “This is what is happening.”
That single shift moves the nervous system out of resistance and into regulation.
When I accept what is, my body softens. My breath deepens. My mind clears. And from that clarity, I can see something I couldn’t see before:
Maybe this situation is not here to punish me. Maybe it is here to teach me. Maybe it is redirecting me. Maybe it is refining me. Maybe it is revealing an expectation I need to release.
The old phrase “go with the flow” used to feel passive to me. Now I see it differently.
Flow is not giving up.
Flow is trusting that reality, even when inconvenient, may still be working in my favor.
When we stop resisting, we create space....space for what could be different, even better.
And in that space, we often discover something unexpected: What is happening may still serve us just not in the form we demanded.
Sometimes better. Sometimes different. Sometimes humbling. Always instructive. It is our choice.
Acceptance does not mean we never take action. It means we act from calm logical mind, rather than a contracted chaos mind.
From acceptance, we can:
• Adjust expectations.• Clarify boundaries.• Make new decisions.• Walk away if necessary.• Or stay, and see it through with a different outcome other than what was anticipated, but without suffering internally.
Peace is not found when everything matches our preference.
Peace is found when our nervous system is not fighting reality.
This is the essence of what I do in my work within Mindology- where mind meets physiology.
Because unconscious stress patterns (our buried beliefs) teach us to resist what feels uncomfortable. But when we align mind and body, when we allow the moment to be what it is without immediate rejection, we access something deeper:
A recognition.
Just because something doesn’t arrive the way we expected doesn’t mean it isn’t an opportunity.
We suffer when life doesn’t match the picture in our mind. But opportunities rarely show up wearing the label we gave them.
Sometimes they come disguised as delay. Sometimes as redirection. Sometimes as discomfort. Sometimes, as a lesson about our expectations.
Acceptance doesn’t mean settling.
It means giving reality a chance to reveal what it might be offering, even if it’s not wrapped the way we imagined.
When we soften our grip on how it “should” look, we can see what it actually is.
And often, it still serves us. Just differently. Sometimes even better.
And when we practice acceptance, something remarkable happens:
Life stops feeling like something we must survive, and starts feeling like something we can navigate.
Calmly. Clearly. Confidently.
A Gentle Reflection
Before you move on with your day, pause and consider:
• Where in my life am I resisting “what is” right now?
• What expectation am I holding that may be increasing my stress?
• If I allowed this situation to simply be what it is, without fighting it, how would my body feel?
• What might this moment be teaching me?
Acceptance is not giving up. It is giving yourself peace first, so you can see clearly.
If you would like to discuss further, I would love to help you find the whys of any resistence by scheduling a complimentary 30 minute session: