When Peace Becomes the Default

Last week, I went to see the Walk for Peace monks as they passed through Charlotte, and it was an experience I will not soon forget...Not because it was dramatic, but because it was profoundly quiet, reverant and yes, peaceful.

Hundreds of people lined the sidewalk outside a school near where the monks were going to rest for the night. What was immediately noticeable wasn’t just the size of the crowd, but its tone. There was kindness, respect, and a gentle excitement simply to be present.

People smiled at one another. Conversations were soft. Many had been following the monks’ journey, just as I had, and when the monks finally approached, something remarkable happened.

Silence.

Reflective, reverant silence....so unusual in a crowd of at least several hundred. Without being instructed, the entire crowd seemed to understand: this moment deserved reverence.

The Moment That Reflected our Group Experience

And then came the part so many of us find stress with...leaving a crowded parking lot.

As we all walked back to our cars, there was soft chatter and easiness.

As we all got into our cars to exit, the line was bumper-to-bumper; cars inching forward. The next moment that struck me was how patient everyone was. I didn't hear one horn honking, or people rolling down their windows to shout. The line inched along slowly, patiently.

If you have ever been in an exit line at a concert, you know what I am talking about...the stress responses from the other drivers. But here, there was none of that. People were letting other cars in front of them, and just allowing the experience of peace to be the dominating energy. No impatience. No irritation. No rush.

I have never seen that before.

It was as if peace hadn’t just arrived with the monks, it had quietly become the organizing principle for everyone there.

And in that moment, something became very clear to me:

People are hungry for peace.

We Talk About Stress, But We Don’t Talk About Peace

We spend so much time talking about stress; how to manage it, reduce it, cope with it, as if it’s an unavoidable condition we must learn to tolerate.

But watching that crowd, I realized something deeper.

It’s not that people need to feel less stress.

They need to know how to more peace.

This is why so many people came to see these peaceful warriors.

When peace is present, stress cannot lead.

But peace doesn't have to be something we access once in a while. It doesn't have to be a fleeting experience, a retreat state, or a temporary escape.

Peace is and can be a sustainable state.

A way of living. Your primary default.

And that distinction changes everything.

Peace Reveals What Is Not Peace

Here’s something important I noticed that night.

By seeking peace, people naturally became aware of what wasn’t peaceful. All those people there experienced peace just being in the presence of these monks; and from that we all realized what peace can be...and it was powerful.

But it also reminds us as we went back into our lives, what peace is not in our everyday lives. However, that doesn't have to be a problem; it can be the starting point.

Peace can become the reference point.

This is why experiences like the Walk for Peace are so powerful. They act as a stress reset, not by eliminating stress, but by reintroducing peace as the baseline.

Once the nervous system feels peace, it remembers.

Where Peace Lives in the Brain

This is where neuroscience beautifully supports lived experience.

There is a network in the brain, often referred to as the Default Mode Network or DMN, that becomes accessible when the nervous system feels safe.

This network is associated with:

• reflection instead of reaction

• clarity instead of urgency

• connection instead of contraction

• meaning instead of mental noise

  
  

In simple terms, this is the brain’s built-in peace state.

It is not something we have to create. It is something we are designed to return to.

Chronic stress doesn’t remove this state; it blocks access to it. When the nervous system is constantly on high alert, the brain prioritizes protection over presence.

Peace requires safety.And safety is something the nervous system can relearn.

Peace Is Not a Moment, It’s a Way of Living

What struck me most that night wasn’t that people were having a peaceful experience.

It was that peace had become the default way of being for at least a short time.

Peace wasn’t just in the mind.It was in the body.In the environment.In how people related to one another. In patience.In silence.In kindness.

No one was trying to “be calm.”They were living from calm.

This is the distinction we often miss.

Peace is not a peak moment we visit occasionally.It is a regulated state within the nervous system already built into our brain and one we can get back to and can learn to live from.

When peace becomes the primary default, (our DMN) stress doesn’t disappear. We will still feel that spike of alert. The difference is once we make peace our default, the peace default takes back the brain, and the stress no longer rules.

Living in Peace Is Different Than “De-Stressing”

Learning how to “de-stress” implies we are constantly reacting to life and trying to lower the stress response.

Learning how to live in peace means something entirely different.

It means:

• teaching our brains, how to feel safe in that built in default again (DMN)

• choosing environments that support regulation

• surrounding ourselves with people who calm rather than activate us

• practicing building that safety default often enough that it becomes familiar

• allowing peace to shape how we decide, respond, and relate

  
  

Peace becomes the baseline.Stress becomes the signal, not the authority.

A Personal Stress Reset

For me, witnessing the Walk for Peace was a powerful reminder.

When peace becomes present, stress doesn’t need to be fought.It simply steps aside.

And perhaps that’s the invitation for all of us.

Not to fix stress.But to reclaim peace as our default.

A Closing Thought

Peace is not something outside of us that we chase.It is something within us that we practice living from, until it becomes home again.

A Gentle Invitation

If reading this stirred something in you; a longing for more steadiness, more space, more peace, know that this state is not out of reach.

Peace is something the nervous system can relearn. with enough practice.

Find out more about: Reset Your Stress Default, a short, guided series designed to help your brain and body remember calm, as a sustainable way of living.

Learn more about Reset Your Stress Default

Reset Your Stress Default

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