Trauma: When the Body Remembers What the Mind Forgot
- Trish Heitz
- Oct 31
- 5 min read
The Hidden Trauma Beneath the Beliefs
Who doesn’t love a good detective story? Especially when the mystery is about you; why you react the way you do, why certain situations feel unsafe for no reason, or why you sabotage opportunities that should make you happy. For most of us, the clues lie buried in old childhood beliefs; inside moments we never thought were traumatic at all.
The Red Door Story
Two little boys, Johnny and Billy, lived next door to each other.Johnny loved going to Billy’s house — great toys, great snacks, and a big red front door.
One afternoon, Billy’s mom was getting ready for a Halloween party. She’d just put on a witch mask when the doorbell rang. She opened it, still in costume, and there stood Johnny — wide-eyed, frozen, terrified. He bolted home, heart racing.
Billy’s mom chased after him, mask in hand, showing it was just pretend — but Johnny’s young brain had already made its decision: Red = Scary.From that day on, Johnny avoided red — red clothes, red candy, red cars.Years later, when he finally had the chance to buy his dream sports car at a bargain, he turned it down. It was red.
No one understood why, not even Johnny. But his nervous system did.It had encoded red as danger, decades earlier.
What This Story Teaches Us About Trauma
Most people think trauma is reserved for the big stuff; abuse, loss, tragedy. But as Dr. Gabor Maté explains in When the Body Says No, trauma isn’t what happens to you, it’s what happens inside you when something overwhelms your ability to cope and you have no one safe to help you process it.
Johnny’s experience wasn’t violent or cruel. It was a moment of confusion and fear his child-brain couldn’t reason through. And because no one helped him make sense of it, his nervous system kept that memory alive, interpreting every future encounter with red as a threat.
Over time, that unresolved belief: “Red is dangerous” grew roots, showing up in new ways, shaping preferences, and quietly dictating choices.This is how micro-traumas are born.
The Science of “Small T” Trauma
Neuroscience confirms that even mild or “benign” childhood stress can alter how the brain wires for safety.
The amygdala (the fear center) becomes hyper-reactive.
The prefrontal cortex (logic, decision-making) under-activates when stress stays “on.”
The body’s HPA axis learns vigilance instead of calm.
Dr. Aimie Apigian calls this stored biology; the body remembers what the mind either can't cope with at the moment, or dismisses.That’s why years later, the adult version of us still reacts to something that “shouldn’t bother us.”It’s not weakness; it’s wiring.
For Those Who Have Lived Through Deep Trauma
However, some people have experienced trauma that is profound and undeniable; abuse, violence, abandonment, chronic neglect, or loss.These experiences shape both the body and the belief system, leaving emotional imprints that require tenderness, patience, and often professional support.
But here’s what the science, and lived experience, shows: while the intensity of trauma differs, the impact on the nervous system follows the same pattern. Whether the threat was physical or emotional, prolonged or momentary, the body’s response is the same: survive.
The nervous system doesn’t label trauma as big or small; it only asks one question: “Am I safe?” When the answer is “no,” the brain adapts; rewiring itself for defense instead of connection. This adaptation can last a lifetime, unless consciously reprogrammed through awareness, compassion, and belief transformation.
So if your story includes deep trauma, know this: your body’s response is not broken, it’s protective.And healing is absolutely possible. The same neuroplasticity that encoded fear can also encode safety, calm, and connection.
How Beliefs Become the Body’s Language
Every unhealed belief acts like Johnny’s red door; an old categorization replaying itself as“I’m not safe.”“I’m not enough.”“I have to earn love.”“I can’t trust others.”
These beliefs become the lens through which we interpret everything around us. When left unexamined, they quietly run our lives; our brain requires it, because it is trying to keep us safe. These beliefs shae relationships, health, and purpose. And the longer they go unaddressed, the louder the body has to speak, through anxiety, illness, burnout, or emotional exhaustion.
As Dr. Maté reminds us, “When you suppress your emotions to survive, your body keeps the score.”It’s not betrayal; it’s communication. Your body ultimately wants to heal this.
What I’ve Learned: The D.A.R.E. Your Beliefs™ Method
Over decades of studying mind-body wellness, I learned that healing doesn’t come from fixing ourselves, it comes from understanding the beliefs that shaped us.
My personal transformation from illness and emotional collapse led me to replicate my process and create the D.A.R.E. Your Beliefs™ Method; a practical path that helps people uncover and reprogram those old beliefs, stored in the mind and body.
D – Discover the unconscious beliefs that drive emotional triggers and reactions.
A – Assess where they originated and how they’ve shaped your life.
R – Recreate empowering new beliefs that align with your authentic truth.
E – Expand those new beliefs into daily action until they become your new comfort zone.
What I’ve discovered, both personally and in my coaching work, is that the body wants to heal. When we change the story the mind believes, the body follows.Awareness doesn’t erase the past, it integrates it. That’s when true healing begins: when you stop running from the red doors and start opening them.
When Trauma Speaks Through Stress
If you’ve ever said, “I didn’t have trauma, nothing that bad happened to me,” you’re not alone. Many of us grew up in homes where love existed, but acceptance was conditional; where perfection was expected and mistakes meant disapproval.
That kind of environment doesn’t always look traumatic, but it can feel traumatic to a developing brain. A child’s mind can interpret correction as rejection, and conditional love as unworthiness; espcially when it is continually repeated. Those mischacterizations become beliefs:
“I’m not enough.”“I have to prove my value.”“I can’t relax — something might go wrong.”
Those beliefs live on as stress. So if you find yourself reactive, tense, or anxious over things that surprise even you, it’s not weakness. It’s an unhealed belief asking to be seen.
This is how trauma expresses itself through stress, triggers, and tension.
Your body remembers what your mind tried to forget.
If you feel stressed, if your triggers still surprise you, it’s likely there’s a belief beneath the surface, waiting to be healed. That’s exactly what we’ll explore in the next Believe Better Women’s Circle on November 5: “How Stress Lives in the Body.”
We’ll discuss how unresolved childhood beliefs shape your stress response, and how belief transformation can help your body finally exhale.
Join us — and begin healing what your body has been holding for far too long.
Comments